we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
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