pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
