3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
i now understand why vodka
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
