They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
