I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize