I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
