I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
