Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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