champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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