It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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