I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
