I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
