their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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