For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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