He had one of those small greek statue penises
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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