Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Randomize
