My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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