I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Operation Purity has been aborted
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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