sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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