i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
