U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
