I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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