Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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