We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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