Got a toothbrush?
butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
