just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
