What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
