My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
