North Korea, Best Korea!
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
