I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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