I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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