My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
