Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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