even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
