Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
