every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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