Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
