Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
