I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
