oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Randomize
