the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
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