It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
