Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
