do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Randomize
