you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I came so hard my ears popped.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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