Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
