He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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