google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
