Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
