I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
