happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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