'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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