I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
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I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
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I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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