Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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