New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
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