Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize