He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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