I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
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