either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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