walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
smell my finger.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
