so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
