I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I want you more than these girls want KFC
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
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