do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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