Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
it's like iHOP with fire
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
