It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
