I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
