We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Randomize
