Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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