I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
